Beautiful birthday dinner for Teresa tonight with Rita. I always love having both of them with me at the same time. I got to walk without my walker, holding on to their hands into the chinese restaurant, and they even walked me around the buffet and cut my food and held my ice cream dish. I love them so much. They are the best caregivers ever!!
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It is important to remember that you are the only one who can ulimately control your life. You chose what comes in, how long things stay and what and when things leave (for the most part). At parties, peer pressure can be at an all-time high. Be on the look out. Be prepared. If you find yourself in a risky situation, maybe you can talk with your parents beforehand about coming up with a code. This code could be your way of telling your parents, "hey, look, I need you" in a discrete way, so that the people around you can't try to stop you from
doing something you don't want to do. For example, you could call your parents and say, "Hey, Uncle Billy called", and your parents would then know to come get you discretely. Another thing you can do is use "refusal skills". If you are in a risky situation, you could use excuses for why you can't participate such as, "well, I'm taking a cab", "I'm on medication", "I am allergic to alcohol" (real thing, by the way), "I have a test tomorrow and I can't stay." Saying "you" in a "you make me" excuse can often make the other person defensive and it might be harder to leave situations you're not comfortable with. Instead, use the word "people" in replace of "you". Remember that body language is vital. No means NO, but depending on the way someone says it, the word could send mixed messages. If you find yourself being pressured into premarital sex, breathe. Don't panic. All you have to do is say "no" and say it right. When girls seem insecure, most blush, giggle, look away, or twirl their hair. With something as serious as the descion to have sex, girls need to know for sure if it is a yes or no. Well, it's a maybe... As soon as a girl thinks the word "maybe" concerning sex, she should say "no" until she is absolutely, without any doubt, 100% ready to say yes and face results. If you're a girl and you're "no" sounds unsure (maybe) then most men will try to step in and help you reach the "yes" state with sweet talk, etc. If you're unsure, it's a NO. Say "no" firmly. You mean it. You aren't ready, not yet. Don't feel bad if the boy gets mad or upset, instead be honest with him. Have a system set up with yourparents or guardian(s) in case he persists. If so, stand firm. You said "no", and "no" means no. Realize that every choice you make will either impact you and your family positively or negatively. Sure it might be fun in the moment to try drugs, fool around or seduce, but... I know what happens when those momentary pleasures become lifelong addictions. My birth mother was addicted to cocaine. It was fun for a moment, then she couldn't live with out it and now, I, (her daughter) live with the consquences. I can only use my left arm. What if she had faced that pressure to try drugs with a NO and surrounded herself with people that valued life and love? Some people say, "well because my parent was __, I __... It's in the genes/blood." Yes, all choices that you make influence future choices of others. But, as in the case with drug abuse, you can never make someone do something. Yes, if you're someone whose guardian or role model chose wrong paths, you, having been frequently exposed, will have a higher chance of following in their footsteps. But, at anytime, you can always take a step back and say, "At what level do I value myself?" Keep in mind that there are people out there willing and wanting to help you keep to your positive morals, whether it's a counselor, teachers, or trusted friend. You are the only one that has a right to your body. You chose what you want to do with it, but remember the positive and negative outcomes of each decision you make. "I am here today to live, grow, learn and share." - Sarah Hamlin ![]() innerhealing.com Balance. Energy. Water. Health. Thought. All these things connect together to form a more dynamic you from the inside out. Studies have proven that more than 70% of our bodies are made up of water! I've read that our words have great impact on water. Negative, mean words create choas in the water, while positive, edifying words can make the water take shape into something really beautiful (For further research on this, look up Dr. Emoto and his water study). I've been nonamblatory my entire life thus far, and for years, I struggled to remain positive. I felt like I had been robbed of a life outside my condition... and it was very hard getting passed the fact that I needed help with almost everything, though most tasks I later learned to do myself. There was unrest in my life... I wanted closure... an answer for all of my negative experiences, and I would often hide away through sleep and dreaming. It wasn't until just a couple years ago, that I truly realized I could choose the life I wanted, by picturing what I desired, holding on to it, preparing for its manifestation, and then using the end result to further my potential and opportunities to bless others. I also cherish the healing effect of meditation. Meditation is a wonderful way to momentarily step away from a sometimes hectic reality and find your inner peace. You can do this by focusing on your breath. When we concentrate on our breath, we can relax and recharge ourselves before returning to reality. The next step in becoming balanced, is by using positive affirmations to train your mind to think positively in everything. In my church, we say, "renew your mind" as a reminder to pause, change our thinking for the better based on Biblical scripture and then resume whatever it was we were doing. When our minds are at peace and are fed positive thoughts, we then naturally deliver positive energy to whatever task is before us. We naturally want to do our best and bless. When we have that drive, we give off positive vibes. Vibes, as defined by yourdictionary.com are "the emotional signals a person gives out to those around them with their body language and social interactions." When our emotional-mental health is at it's best, we then can begin to see positive changes in our physical health. "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." - John Wooden Something I have been thinking abut lately is hiding... Not physically hiding as in "hiding behind a tree," but hiding away within yourself as a means of escape. Starting in middle school, when I was around 13 and 14, I began to really concentrate on how I appeared to other people. I suddenly started having crushes on boys and I began to worry about how they saw me and what they thought about me. I was scared that my wheelchair would limit the places I could go on dates, or that my newly-diagnosed seizure-like panic attacks would give them second thoughts. I started feeling like I was a "freak." And like every other girl going through puberty, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the noticeable changes going on with my body. I thought that I was physically maturing faster than other girls, but what I didn't realize at the time was that this thinking was understandable. My mother and caregivers were constantly having to see me naked, dress me, lift me in and out of the bathtub, hand me my deodorants and eventually, shave my underarms. That's when I would often find myself thinking about married life: who would want to help their wife shave?? This thought scared me and I soon found myself trying real hard to hide beneath my clothes. By the time I was 15, there were very few days that I would go out in public not wearing a zipped up hoodie and long pants to cover my knees (because I was embarrassed that my kneecaps were higher than usual). I did however, imagine myself wanting to wearn ice things like dresses, and high heels, but then I'd think, "dresses are bad. You'll need extra help in the restroom," and I'd say no to the dress that mom was holding. I'd think, "high heels are bad, too because you scuff them up within a week and you'll trip." By my sophomore year in high school, i was becoming increasingly anxious about wearing my hair uncovered in public. I had always hd a deep interest in the Amish lifestyle, and respected their modest beliefs, and I will admit to having been extremely influenced by this. I went out and bought several bandanas to cover my hair outside of school. Soon, I found myself convincing my mom to let me wear a camisole under any shirt. Even though I had often been complimented on my left arm strength, I didn't want my arms to show from the elbow up because I felt awkward having one arm a lot stronger than the other and thought that my left [arm] muscles showed more because I was so weak in my right. I got to the point where I would wear my camisoles and/or jackets and hoodies no matter what the temperature outside and my teachers were worried that I'd get over heated. My doctor also became concerned with my anxiety levels. And so I started going to a phycologist. I told her that if I had it my way, I'd cover myself from head to toe, including my hair. I told her that when I wore my Amish uniform, I was happy and it didn't bother me to look in a mirror. I loved the feeling and look of the Prayer Kapp on my head and I felt really modest and polite. She told me that it was okay for me to continue to wear the Amish garb, but I would need to work on facing my fears. She encouraged me to take a step back and view myself completely confident in who I am. I pictured myself married and modest, but still confident enough that I could go out in publicwithout a hoodie. I pictured myself still being able to wear what I wanted, when I wanted in moderation. I pictured myself feeling absolutely beautiful and able to take time out to relax and reflect. Now 17, I still wear my bandanas and hoodies and camisoles, but I am able to apply power thoughts to my life to create what I want every moment to look like. I appreciate every second that I am in, thinking only on that very second. I don't forget my dreams or my past, but just decide to let the moment take me to where I see myself going. I am very comfortable in my spiritual beliefs now and love loving and serving God. Prayer is something that has been a huge help in my emotional healing. I love being able to talk to God as a best friend. I feel no guilt or shame when I speak with Him, because I know He forgives and forgets and knows all about me. He knows why I do what I do, and is right there to say, "hey, sweetie, sit. relax. I'm here for you." If you'd like to learn more about power thoughts, particularily, take a look at my facebook notes ----> https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/cp-advocates-of-the-world/we-want-your-positive-affirmations/256676694345313
Growing up, I would often find myself gasping as I dropped like a rag doll to the floor. My arms would flail, but by the time my left arm could really react, I would be crumpled up, holding whatever I hurt on impact. Other times, I'd be flopping on my back trying to dress myself with one hand. Sometimes the effort was so great that I'd just fall on my back half-naked and stare up at my ceiling for a moment as I surrendered and then called my mom for help. Shed find me there, panting, my pants twisted, my eyes glistening with tears and simply say, "oh, honey... here, let me help you!" Whenever she was away, I'd have a friend of hers help me. I've had to be propped up against an aide's shoulder while they pulled up my underpants and lifted my seventeen-year-old body out of a tub. I've been dressed for bed and have had people tie my sneakers before I go to school. On my first day of sphomore year, I wanted to see how I'd get along without an aide in class. Within the first half hour, I dropped my pencil and gave up on note taking after the third line. At lunch that day, one of my teachers noticed I was barely touching my food. When the room was empty, I found myself looking up at the sky and crying. I let my shoulders sink and my anger flood and I began to sob so hard, I made no sound. I wanted my mom there to hug me. I wanted to throw my hands up for the nth time and say, "I'm done," but instead, I swallowed the tears again, dried my cheeks, inhaled deeply and chose to collect myself and be in the moment. In this moment, I was eating lunch. So I chose to eat lunch. My wheelchair was higher than the table I was at, and my back hurt from bending over, but I was thankful for the table... for the choice of food and that my teachers cared about me. Eventually, I received my school aide and she took all my burdens and put them on her shoulders, and I sighed and was thankful for the exchanged smiles between us. At home, I continued to struggle with my self-image. I did not like how I appeared in the mirror. All I saw was my Cerebral Palsy. Being in the moment doesn't mean you have to forget everything you are here to do. It means you chose to conciously make an effort to focus on your breath, be grateful and remember that, as Niki Ochenski Weller said: "you can do anything for half a second." Use positive affirmations or scripture cards to feed your mind fruitful thoughts and step back and reflect on who you want to be in any given moment. Being in the moment can help prevent regret and strengthen your problem-solving skills. It gives you the time and strength to asess the situation and chose the right path. It reduces stress and gives off positive energy to those around you. This poem by Derek Walcott is one of my most absolute favorites, as it focuses on self-image and even, being in the moment, via choosing to accept the situation and do what you can to make it better for yourself and others. We must all learn to help ourselves first and be grounded before we can ever expect to assist others in their emotional healing. In January, 2012 I did a radio interview for a disability agency, specifically to help promote an adaptive ski program. The interviewer asked me many questions, including where I got my confidence from. I immediately burst out sobbing. I was overwhelmed by gratitude as I told her about Miranda Kerr. In November of the previous year, Kerr directly agreed to support Cerebral Palsy awareness. After hearing my story, she hastily sent me a gift. She had published her first book, Treasure Yourself, and had made an announcement that she would no longer be signing copies indirectly from her website. She made an exception, sending me her book totally free of charge in the mail. She had also signed a note to me, reading, "let your little light shine, darling girl." She had no idea that I was contemplating suicide around that time. I had previously hit rock bottom due to illness. I was frequently being rushed to the hospital for convulsive panic attacks, and my school attendance was dropping. The lack of general support from various people was adding to my anxiety, and I felt very alone. My family and I had no idea what was causing the attacks, and many people thought I was faking it. Dear Lord, how can you fake having your body twist and jerk hard enough to lift the front wheels of a 200 pound wheelchair? Miranda has been personally involved in my emotional healing, and so has her mother, Therese for the last 3 years. Her book really got me thinking about who I really wanted to be, and Kerr has been a great role model for me, especially when I am in front of a camera or meeting people at advocacy events, because I am expected to be promote things and look believable. Kerr taught me that people are drawn to authenticity. That's what I try to do in the community... Be truthful. Miranda is one of the most prominent faces in the modelling industry, and one of the biggest voices behind youth suicide prevention. I will never hesitate to share her kindness with others, because in a way, she truly saved my life. CLICK TO ORDER BOOK ON AMAZON Further Reading: www.koraorganics.com Related blog post: "I Know What Drugs Can Do. And How Love Can Heal." and "Why Me?" |
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